WIKIRAD

06/11/2009

Fear and Loathing

I’ve been trying to go to sleep but I can’t- because somewhere, in Chicago, on his bike, Dan is drunk and calling me for directions home. Google Maps satellite view has become my new best friend. This is the second time he’s done this in less than a month. The first time, he kept me up until I literally passed out at 7 AM, and he still wasn’t home. I’m not getting my hopes up for this time to be much different.

“Go east, that means that the address numbers will be getting smaller. Stay on that road. Do not get off of that road. Do not take any turns. Go in the direction that makes the numbers get smaller.”

Five minutes later

“Ok you’ve been going south and then west again. You need to go east. The numbers will get smaller. There will be a Dunkin’ Donuts that needs to be on your left. KEEP THE DUNKIN’ DONUTS ON YOUR LEFT.”

Ten minutes later

“You are a moron. Call a cab.”

This kind of stuff could be funny if Dan was 18 years old and lost in a small safe suburb somewhere- or, you know, if I wasn’t married to him. But none of those things are true. He’s 25, drunk, and calling me at 3 AM because he is lost in the very seedy west side of Chicago.

I can’t honestly say that I’m not getting really tired of this shit.

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05/11/2009

I downloaded and played around a little bit with the new Left 4 Dead demo on Xbox Live this afternoon, and here’s some early thoughts:
1. Maybe I missed something, but it seems that the demo is only playable in a live matchmaking mode. While it does allow you to see and play the actual game, it would have been nice to be able to get a better handle on operating the game first instead of just diving right in. For instance, I still have no clue how to heal myself or others, so I just ended up dying a whole bunch and having to watch everyone else play. I would have liked to have seen a short out-of-game tutorial rather than the in-game suggestions that randomly pop up right as you’re being attacked by monsters, aka the most inopportune time ever.
2. Controller options. It took me four or five tries to finally find the option for inverted play, which is my preferred style. I still don’t know how I found the inverted option, since the controller menu is pretty much just a giant diagram of all the button layouts and the presets for each different config.
3. The graphics are really good- the short film before the game was incredible. With what limited play I was able to see on the demo, the game doesn’t look fantastically different than the first- but if the short is any indication, I could be very very wrong about this. I hope I am.

I downloaded and played around a little bit with the new Left 4 Dead demo on Xbox Live this afternoon, and here’s some early thoughts:

1. Maybe I missed something, but it seems that the demo is only playable in a live matchmaking mode. While it does allow you to see and play the actual game, it would have been nice to be able to get a better handle on operating the game first instead of just diving right in. For instance, I still have no clue how to heal myself or others, so I just ended up dying a whole bunch and having to watch everyone else play. I would have liked to have seen a short out-of-game tutorial rather than the in-game suggestions that randomly pop up right as you’re being attacked by monsters, aka the most inopportune time ever.

2. Controller options. It took me four or five tries to finally find the option for inverted play, which is my preferred style. I still don’t know how I found the inverted option, since the controller menu is pretty much just a giant diagram of all the button layouts and the presets for each different config.

3. The graphics are really good- the short film before the game was incredible. With what limited play I was able to see on the demo, the game doesn’t look fantastically different than the first- but if the short is any indication, I could be very very wrong about this. I hope I am.

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I love my bike. I can’t imagine riding anything else. The first time I walked into Upgrade Cycle Works here in Chicago, I knew I wanted a Masi. A few months later, with my parent’s blessing, my friend Eric was setting up a brand new Masi Speciale Fixed with my name on it. He was kind enough to take the time to install a much shorter stem and help me get the handlebars and seat tube adjusted to my liking because let’s face it: most road bikes are built for men.
Which is why I think that Sweetpea bikes are so neat. Natalie builds bikes specifically and only for women, which seems to be a largely ignored population of the riding community. Not only does she build bikes set up for commuting to work or hauling loads of groceries around town, but she builds bikes designed for female cross racers, as well.
My Masi is quick. It’s nimble. The geometry of my 51 is such that I’m comfortable riding it for relatively long periods of time- but simply not all the time. I can’t help but think about all the things I’ve read that stress the importance of owning a bicycle that truly fits you, and a part of me wonders just how much of a difference is noticeable between riding what is- for all intents and purposes- a factory bike, and riding a bike that is solely manufactured for me.
So kudos to Natalie and her Bike Fit Manifesto- for taking into account the fact that women and men are physically different; whether it be shorter legs or longer torsos, aching backs or old injuries. I can’t imagine not riding my bike, but I hope that someday I can imagine riding my bike and being 100% comfortable on it 100% of the time. After all, comfort comes at a price that I just can’t afford right now.

I love my bike. I can’t imagine riding anything else. The first time I walked into Upgrade Cycle Works here in Chicago, I knew I wanted a Masi. A few months later, with my parent’s blessing, my friend Eric was setting up a brand new Masi Speciale Fixed with my name on it. He was kind enough to take the time to install a much shorter stem and help me get the handlebars and seat tube adjusted to my liking because let’s face it: most road bikes are built for men.

Which is why I think that Sweetpea bikes are so neat. Natalie builds bikes specifically and only for women, which seems to be a largely ignored population of the riding community. Not only does she build bikes set up for commuting to work or hauling loads of groceries around town, but she builds bikes designed for female cross racers, as well.

My Masi is quick. It’s nimble. The geometry of my 51 is such that I’m comfortable riding it for relatively long periods of time- but simply not all the time. I can’t help but think about all the things I’ve read that stress the importance of owning a bicycle that truly fits you, and a part of me wonders just how much of a difference is noticeable between riding what is- for all intents and purposes- a factory bike, and riding a bike that is solely manufactured for me.

So kudos to Natalie and her Bike Fit Manifesto- for taking into account the fact that women and men are physically different; whether it be shorter legs or longer torsos, aching backs or old injuries. I can’t imagine not riding my bike, but I hope that someday I can imagine riding my bike and being 100% comfortable on it 100% of the time. After all, comfort comes at a price that I just can’t afford right now.

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I still hold that The Wire is one of the most well-written television shows I have ever seen aired, despite being told otherwise by the sweaty counter kid sporting a peachfuzz ‘stache at the local hipster video rental store.
That being established, I don’t think I know that much about television. At least, I didn’t until that damned Hulu started up, and now I tend to plan my mornings off from work around which sitcoms I can watch the day after they’ve aired. Sometimes a girl just needs something that is in no way constructive to fill her time, and here’s some shows that fill that criteria:
FlashForward: Once again, ABC tries out the LOST formula of having some huge cataclysmic event occur, only to dance around the issue by introducing new characters and situations to take our minds off of the obvious question- which is, of course, “WTF?” I think having JJ Abrams on staff should be a pre-req to this model. I understand concepts like suspension and drama and plot, but really. At least LOST was somewhat original; This show is crap.
Modern Family: Hey, let’s make a documentary-style sitcom about three families who are totally different, but who all have to get along because GUESS WHAT THEY’RE RELATED. Tired concept, but this time it’s EDGY because they’ve got a gay family with an adopted daughter. So far, the obvious gay jokes that most sitcoms seem to rely on haven’t been overused, so it may not turn out to be all bad. Plus, I personally think it’s great to see Al Bundy back on the couch bitching about his wife again.
Glee: It’s nice to see a sitcom about dorky high school kids that aren’t totally comprised of fat band nerds and the computer geeks with thick glasses and acne. Also, I think it’s hilarious that so many online communities are throwing fits about the way the show’s wheelchair-bound character gets wheeled around by the other characters. I absolutely LOVE make-believe drama. Anyway, this show is pretty terrible too- married Glee Club teacher has crush on school counselor, but it’s okay because his wife is an inconceivable shrew. High school kids are pregnant, but OH NOES it’s because she was cheating on him with his BFF. The characters are parodies of every stereotype you can think of. The plot lines are predictable and the holes in them are huge- but come on. The singing is pretty phenomenal, and Jane Lynch is like the Ari Gold of this show- it’s entirely worth watching for her alone.
And now, a throwback- Amazing Stories
Imagine a nicer, more pleasant world, where episodes of the Twilight Zone didn’t make you fear the world. Around the time of the second Indiana Jones and the Goonies, Steven Spielberg created a show where episodes told an independent story, each with some little twist- moral in nature at best, quixotic at worst. I choose to mention Amazing Stories here because often the episodes are creative little vignettes, shown in the classic Spielberg manner- no jump cuts or CGI here, just some creative videography and (by today’s standards) lower-budget special effects now and then. This show gets an honorable mention for being a completely enjoyable and watchable show, long before the likes of Jerry Bruckheimer came along and destroyed the average television viewer’s ability to focus on anything that isn’t exploding for more than five seonds.

All of the above shows are being streamed on Hulu the day after they air- save for Amazing Stories, which can be found on Netflix.

I still hold that The Wire is one of the most well-written television shows I have ever seen aired, despite being told otherwise by the sweaty counter kid sporting a peachfuzz ‘stache at the local hipster video rental store.

That being established, I don’t think I know that much about television. At least, I didn’t until that damned Hulu started up, and now I tend to plan my mornings off from work around which sitcoms I can watch the day after they’ve aired. Sometimes a girl just needs something that is in no way constructive to fill her time, and here’s some shows that fill that criteria:

FlashForward: Once again, ABC tries out the LOST formula of having some huge cataclysmic event occur, only to dance around the issue by introducing new characters and situations to take our minds off of the obvious question- which is, of course, “WTF?” I think having JJ Abrams on staff should be a pre-req to this model. I understand concepts like suspension and drama and plot, but really. At least LOST was somewhat original; This show is crap.

Modern Family: Hey, let’s make a documentary-style sitcom about three families who are totally different, but who all have to get along because GUESS WHAT THEY’RE RELATED. Tired concept, but this time it’s EDGY because they’ve got a gay family with an adopted daughter. So far, the obvious gay jokes that most sitcoms seem to rely on haven’t been overused, so it may not turn out to be all bad. Plus, I personally think it’s great to see Al Bundy back on the couch bitching about his wife again.

Glee: It’s nice to see a sitcom about dorky high school kids that aren’t totally comprised of fat band nerds and the computer geeks with thick glasses and acne. Also, I think it’s hilarious that so many online communities are throwing fits about the way the show’s wheelchair-bound character gets wheeled around by the other characters. I absolutely LOVE make-believe drama. Anyway, this show is pretty terrible too- married Glee Club teacher has crush on school counselor, but it’s okay because his wife is an inconceivable shrew. High school kids are pregnant, but OH NOES it’s because she was cheating on him with his BFF. The characters are parodies of every stereotype you can think of. The plot lines are predictable and the holes in them are huge- but come on. The singing is pretty phenomenal, and Jane Lynch is like the Ari Gold of this show- it’s entirely worth watching for her alone.

And now, a throwback- Amazing Stories

Imagine a nicer, more pleasant world, where episodes of the Twilight Zone didn’t make you fear the world. Around the time of the second Indiana Jones and the Goonies, Steven Spielberg created a show where episodes told an independent story, each with some little twist- moral in nature at best, quixotic at worst. I choose to mention Amazing Stories here because often the episodes are creative little vignettes, shown in the classic Spielberg manner- no jump cuts or CGI here, just some creative videography and (by today’s standards) lower-budget special effects now and then. This show gets an honorable mention for being a completely enjoyable and watchable show, long before the likes of Jerry Bruckheimer came along and destroyed the average television viewer’s ability to focus on anything that isn’t exploding for more than five seonds.

All of the above shows are being streamed on Hulu the day after they air- save for Amazing Stories, which can be found on Netflix.

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27/10/2009

How I Almost Sold My Wedding Dress

I posted an ad on Craigslist, and here’s the only bite I got. The following is our e-mail “conversation,” copied and pasted directly from my inbox- I only edited out the Western Union contact information he gave me, you know, because “Jim Harry” is obviously a real person with real feelings.

——-

Jim Harry: I am very interested to purchase your item.

Me: Great! Do you have any questions, or would you like to come take a look at it?

JH: Hello Thanks for your mail.Actually the wedding dress is for my daughter wedding gift which is coming up in some days time.She works in the United states Consulate office in west africa.Am a very busy man and would like you to help me send this wedding dress to her in West Africa for her wedding.i will pay you $830  which will cover up for the cost of the item and shipping to my daughter in west africa. I will be paying you through PAYPAL,u.s postal money order Its secure and reliable and it protects the two people involved in the transaction.I will need your paypal account so i can make the payment right away and hope you send the item to my wife as soon as you receives your payment from paypal.
NB: or If you will accept online money order payment they update me with the information that i will use to send you the money order right away.
Thanks for your help and understanding.

Me: Thanks for your interest. Unfortunately I do not have paypal, so the
best I can do is this: send me a money order or cashier’s check (no
personal checks please) and I can overnight the dress to any address
you want.

JH: Hello, Thanks for your mail.i live in utah but i travelled out of the states last weekend to London for a business meeting.i will if you will send the dress to my gather since yo don’t have a pay pal account i would just send you the money to with my card through pay pal,but i promise you that if send the dress to my  duagther by tomorrow that i will western union to you immediately all have the do after you send the dress to her just fro word the tracking number to me then i will send the western union o at once because am not with my check levies here with me please just help me and try to understand the stations my is very worried about the dress and we have much time on our side again and i love her so much please help me okay.

Me: Jim, you seem like a nice guy. I’ll make you a deal. I will cut the dress in half and mail your daughter in West Africa the top half tomorrow morning. I will then send you the tracking number. Due to the fact that I will have to purchase special scissors that can cut through the many layers of this wedding dress, I will have to ask for a total of $900- this price includes the scissors, both halves of the dress, and all shipping costs. As soon as I have received the money through Western Union, I will then mail your daughter the bottom half of the dress. For an extra $25, I will include two packages of safety pins, four packs of Velcro, and some basting tape in order to put the dress back together. Your daughter will be so happy!

JH: I am very interested to purchase your item.

——-

Lesson: when you are trying to scam someone into mailing a wedding dress to Nigeria for no dollars, maybe you should master the English language first. And pick a better alias.

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